I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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