i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
