does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
