I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
