That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
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