i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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