margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
