with your own penis?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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