awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
