Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
