So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We left the knife in your bed.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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