On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
