This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
