you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
