Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize