Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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