I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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