I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It was confusing and full of hummus
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
