i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
