So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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