im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
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