So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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