she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
