is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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