the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
it's like heaven, but drunker
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
