if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
