sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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