I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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