I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
