Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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