ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
