I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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