Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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