I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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