So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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