covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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