I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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