I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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