He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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