I'd wear matching sweaters with you
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
