i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
