I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
where am i from again
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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