I just threw up on my dentist
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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