is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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