i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
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