she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
