I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
