i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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