I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
