he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He passed out mid-signature
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize