I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
