I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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