love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize