I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
