What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
