i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize