Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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