Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
