the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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