I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
